In the middle.

I am not complaining, but stating the fact that being in the middle just sucks.

Being in the middle is not fun, and it’s the slowest process. You know when you’re in it too. There’s no questioning if you’ve reached a moment in your life when you’re bored, tired, and ready for change.

I’m sitting here, while most of my friends that I spend the most of my time with, are in new adventures, and new places with new people or just change. I’m so happy for each one of them, I could sit here and think I was jealous, but in fact I’m not, I’m just bored of being in the middle. I’m exhausted from trying to push out of whatever it is I’m in. I’ve been patient, and some days I don’t think I’ve been patient enough. That’s what keeps me going though I suppose, is the idea that I’ve not yet succeeded, and I need to keep pushing forward. Being honest, 2014 was one of the best years I’ve ever had, it was filled with travel, health, family, friends, and the worst thing I have to complain about is that a guy didn’t want to date me. 2015 has some big shoes to fill, and I’m remaining optimistic that it will. The many exciting moments I had in 2014 will flourish to be even greater moments and memories in 2015. However, near the end of 2014 I finally started to realize the things I didn’t have that I wanted, vs. the things that I had that I really didn’t want. If you’re following along, there are just some things that I’ve been blessed with that I wish I didn’t have, because a part of me wants something more simple, and more pure. I started 2015 with a trip that rejuvenated my passion, and ignited my adrenaline. But coming home on such a high note, and starting back in what feels like the middle, really is hard. I can feel the things above happening in my live, slowly, or am I? Am I being to optimistic with the idea that I can eventually approach the “end” or whatever comes after the middle? Is the end really that great, or is the journey to the end to be lived up to the highest, and enjoyed? These thoughts are overwhelming me, and I’m not sure how to react. I really am stuck at a crossroads, and I’m sure it’s just my 20’s, but if there’s a chance that my optimism can stick through, and keep living every day to the fullest, that would be great. Because, like I said above, being in the middle stinks. It creates this roller coaster of emotions that you can’t control, because one day things are on the top of the mountain screaming for happiness, and the next they can be a wondering lost voyage through the forrest.

Sometimes I suppose being in the middle is great too. It allows a person to find that being pessimistic isn’t always the best choice, and finding yourself through challenges is rewarding.

Today is weird, and I’m in the middle. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to sulk, and regret something I’ve done. Because I’m chasing after my dreams, and finding that the journey to the end is really what it’s all about. It’s great.

 

Ali

 

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